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Friday, February 26, 2010

Fundy FAQ Friday

The Question Emily will address today is...

How Did You Meet Your Husband?

First, Emily wants to say that she loves Fock You Friday because a lot of times it's a fun excuse for her to spout her religious views in a blog where they otherwise don't fit. Other times, it let's her share something personal and fun, like how she met Dna.

Emily says that after highschool, Dna went to state college for a few classes easch semester [I find this incredibly hard to believe. I'm not American, but I imagine your real schools would require better writing and communication than Dna possesses] Emily says he wasn't sure what he wanted to do with his life [An aimless man is prime snagging material, pay attention ladies, Emily is telling you how to real in a controllable mayun] Dna only went to college for one year, she doesn't say if he passed any of his classses, and then his mother got deathly ill, like planning the funeral ill. She's still alive, but she never fully recovered [Anyone else remember when Dna was Facebooking and wondering aloud if his mother was being poisoned? Weird] So, Dna put his life on hold for a few years to care for her, and then decided to go to Babble College.

Em took a year off school after high school, and then found Babble college, where she felt God wanted her. Emily doesn't say what she did with that year off though.

"I was a fresman and he was a senior"

In Babble College everything was structured and there was a strict dress code and rules about when you could hang out with the opposite gender. There was a no hand holding rule, no touching, and no pokes rule.

Dna remembers first seeing his future go in the toilet, er, I mean Emily during a freshmen orientation called "The Get to Know You Session."

Emily first remembers seeing Dna at the supper table, that was the only meal where they had free seating instead of assigned seating. They struck up a conversation about what brought them to Babble College and what the will of God was for their lives. Dna vividly recalls their conversation ending with Emily saying "Well, I know that the will of God for me right now is to clean dishes."

They ran into each other a few times around campus [God, this is getting boring, she can't even tell the story of how she met her partner with any flair, I hope it picks up soon. ] They sometimes sat together at supper, chapel or softball, they both played softball. [Back when Dna had food and energy to play softball that is, now he looks like he'd break if he tried to swing a bat] They both also vividly [There's that word again, I think she likes it] recall sitting at a bonfire at the home of some married students. They sat there for hours, until curfew talking about theology, dreams and family.

Emily says that Dna impressed her but that she wasn't looking for a relationship at that time. She went to Babble College to grow closer to God, not to find a husband. She felt she needed to distance herself from him, so she even hid from him in a coat closet once [ I bet Dna wishes their Apartment of Horrors had a closet so he could be the one to hide from her now] So finally she decided to have a long reflection period with God while she was avoiding Dna and she saw that she was closer to God when she was with Dna, and that God was blessing their budding friendship.

So Dna's best friends fiance was in charge of seating arrangements an she pulled some strings so Em and Dna could sit together at meals. At the Babble college there was a divide among single students and couples. She says no one liked it that way, but that's the way it was and some of the students at their table griped about a couple getting to sit together.

Dna asked Emily what she thought of others refering to them as a couple, and she said she liked it. Not long after that they became an official couple, meaning he called her mom and asked permission. Emily's dad didn't want to be called because he's a bit of a feminist. [Rock on Emily's Dad, Woohoo!]

So, that is how they met and fell in love, and she is lucky to have him, and she's thankful that he feels the same way about her.

Okay, that was the most boring How we Met story ever. I didn't read it to the end and then start typing, I started typing as I was reading it, and I thought it would become interesting somewhere along the line, but it never did. Giz's Parody of how they met is much better.

39 comments:

  1. Why is he still in skool? Did he get a degree from the first skool of the holy basement?
    What a little harlet she is...stealing the heart of an upper classmate, she must have struted around like a giant frugal peacock!

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  2. I thought I read somewhere that Dna went to a Babble school in Canada for awhile?

    Or maybe Emily went to Babble school in Canada, and that is where they met, and not at the current School of the Holy Basement? If Dna was already a senior then, how many years has Dna been going to school?

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  3. So, she is not at all concerned that when they met he was a senior and is still, presumably, working on his undergraduate degree? I wonder why he switched schools if he was already a senior at the first school? Just weird.

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  4. Did she remove Dna's blog link? I didn't see it on her "blog" favorites.

    She is a moron. I think I actually hate her!

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  5. Removed it? How rude! I quickly clicked over to her site last night for the sole purpose of getting the link to Dna's blog. Looks like my timing was spot on. Here ya go:

    http://rantofdan.blogspot.com/

    She can't delete it from here. Mwah! For being unintelligent cronies of Gizmola, somehow we do manage to stay a step (or 5,000) ahead of Emily, don't we.
    Lisah

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  6. Em is refusing to answer any questions about Dna's schooling except to say that he graduated from that other school of the Holy Basement, and he is going for another degree now. Sort of, it's complicted. She won't answer any questions because she says she has a post for a future Fock You Friday about that.

    Way to string along the clicks Em!

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  7. I'm new here and I love this site! I have to ask though, what is the church of the holy basement?

    And, as a Canadian, I sure hope that Dan and Emily didn't meet at Bible College here! And if they did, sorry everyone!

    BJ

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  8. Her style of telling the story was so... disinterested.

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  9. Anon, School of the Holy Basement is refering to Dna's unaccredited "college" that he goes to.

    Dna and Emily spend thousands to send Dna to a fake college. Money that could be better spent on feedinf their children and buying birth control.

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  10. Does Dan not understand that the majority of people who read his wife's site don't like her? Does he not see how she is very denfensive and extremely rude within the comment section of her own blog? This does not seem like the type of woman who will be a good pastors wife. The internet is often a way of researching a person. You can bet your booty that if Dan does get a job as a pastor, there will be a few busybodies in the congregation that will research Dan and Emily. And they will run across her site if she hasn't taken it down or will run across all the various sites talking about her. The congregation will be horrified! I would not want to follow a preacher who allowed his wife to be such a little bitty or lived in filth like that. I would either leave the church or try to get rid of them, as will everyone else who knows all about this blog and set up. She is literally ruinging their future with the way she acts on her blog. I hope Dan comes to realize this and put a stop to it. Or that Emily if she is truely a Chrisitan realizes that her blog (and lifestlye) is going to hurt her big time in the future.

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  11. Does anyone else remember her saying that the Bible "College" she went to was only a 1 year program? How could she have been a freshman and he a senior if it was only 1 year long? And how could he have a degree in anything in 1 year?

    http://under1000permonth.blogspot.com/2009/09/i-had-debt-once.html

    In this post she says she graduated from the 1 year bible college certificate program.

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  12. Anon 11:40
    You have to realize that it is all about Emily, no one else matters in her eyes.
    Regarding her deciding to take her children to the Dr, I would bet that she recieved a letter from CPS regarding her not doing follow up care for little DNA. The case worker proably followed up with the Dr and they told them that she came once and did not come back or take him to the referrals that they set up. She will not disclose that little fact. It was her idea because to her loyal following she wants to look like a good mother. She is full of it.
    I wish they would take the money that they spend on the DNA schooling and spend it on getting a large living space and better food. He will never become a pastor with a wife like her. Please Emily,take your head out of your butt and look around. Or take Food Stamps and WIC so they could afford a large apartment or house. Her PLAN will never happen.

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  13. Wow, I just read that post about Emily's debt.

    I can't believe she felt justified living with his family paying only 40/month for her room and keep.

    When we were moving across country we stayed with my in-laws for a few months between the end of our lease and the start of my husband's new job. We paid them 500/month to stay in one room and bought our own food.

    Emily clearly says she was not buying any additional food because she was paying back her mother. Wow. I'm just shocked that she would be so cheap to her own family...

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  14. Ok, about this Dan becoming a pastor thing. I know that's the PLAN.
    (I asked Fremily this before, but she didn't post. She doesn't like questions that lead to thinking outside the PLAN). The pastors I have ever come across, seen, heard, or read, have all been articulate, and able to very eloquently get their point across. They must be well spoken, and thoughtful, it is what they do.
    Not that this makes them better than Dna, but, you know you can't be a surgeon if you can't grasp biology, math, and physics, right.. I don't feel that you can become a sucessful (Em said they get voted in?) pastor if you can't really get into literature and writing.
    I have read his blog. In addition to grammar, spelling, and things that a tutor can work on, his writing is also very simple. (I'm not even gonna get started on "it's ok to mis Church if whether is bad") It leads me to belive that his thinking is also simple. The fact that he grabs onto other people's ideas without much thought and runs with them(like Christmas tree) reinforces that idea, along with every Facebook or Twit he's ever made.

    This isn't to say he can't do something else and be successful. But pastoring isn't it. Fremily doesn't make it any better. Instead of typing his papers, and perpetuating his problems, she should use some of the money from bloging and reselling people's gifts on Cragslist, and get him a tutor, or some specialized classes. But she's too busy lacto fermenting her surroundings and chasing after the next whakadoodle idea she reads on the internet.

    Really, how many of us think pastoring is a reasonable future for Dan?

    I understand, they they're waiting for God's will. But, it is also my understanding that God doesn't just plop you into any career if you hope for it really hard. And they aren't doing anything to be better suited for that career. May be God's got something else for him, and its fine, but she will just not give up, and instead of working for a reasonable, and good future, she's.. fermenting stuff.

    I know, that unless I threw myself into some schooling pronto, and started taking certain classes, it would be pretty unreasonable for me to say that I am waiting to become a neurosurgeon, and God's will as far as being a surgeon is concerned..

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  15. I asked her twice about the mattress. She never published them. Imagine that.

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  16. I think that Dan could possibly get a job as a preacher at a poor, small church that just looks at his degree and doesn't care that it is unaccredited. It is possible that he could do an okay job as a preacher with his simple sermons. I have heard some pretty bad sermons from people who have been preachers for years.
    I don't think that they will be able to keep a job as a preacher as long as Emily is in the picture. Someone from their church will find out about her blog and I can bet that they will be forced out of a church because of it. Not only that, but Emily does not have the grace to be a preacher's wife. She thanked Gizmola for the BOX, not the mattress. She turned down a turkey from the church. People bless their preacher with things and if she can't accept something with a gracious attitude then it won't work. She also can't take criticisim well, and we all know preachers wives have to face a lot of that and let it roll off their back. She keeps a dirty house and feeds unbalanced food. Preachers have to extend their home out to their congregation and home visits and meals with their parisheners are a big part of the job. Who would want to visit a semi trailor packed full of pee stained mattresses and junk all over and eat that food? Emily is the one who is going to ruin it all with her attitude and lack of homemaking and parenting skills.

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  17. am I reading this correctly in her comments....the Holy Basement is MORE legit than his other one, the one where he met Emily? What the heck was that school...the School of the Holy Broom Closet?

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  18. She said she's going "to address the mattress on Sunday". Oh boy. Can't wait to see the spin she's going to put on this one.

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  19. Well, she's young. She's a 24-25 year old who acts like a spoiled and stubbron 17 year old. And she's playing house, where its HER rules, ALL the time, on EVERYTHING, cause that's how SHE likes it. And her family, of course. So, may be she'll grow out of it yet?

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  20. Anon 2:55, it's probably about how Gizmola's blog cost her a lot of income, so, selling things Gizmola sent her only makes sense. As a matter of fact, Gizmola should make a habit of sending her things to re-sell, or, more simply, cash, just to make up for "defrauding" her and the web of lies, slander, and the like that she has spread about her in the internet, all of which cost her her income. Remember, she's not afraid to get an attorney. Better cut of beef, no, but an attorney, she is a l l o v e r. That's my guess.

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  21. Emily and Dna went to New Brunswick Bible Instsitute in Canada.

    http://74.125.93.132/search?q=cache:L-lMLSyRlhIJ:www.gsanders.com/nbbipdf/2006-03web.pdf+new+brunswick+bible+institute+Emily+Brown&cd=2&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=ca

    Under Family Life it lists their marriage. It says Em got an Associates, but it just lists a date for Dna. I'm guessing he never graduated.

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  22. Em says that before Dna her longest relationship was 2 months! Guess it didnt take long for the other guys to figure out she was nuts and take off running the other way!
    Poor Dna, since he seems to be swayed so easy to do whatever, she probably told him we are staying together and getting married.

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  23. EM:I'm going to answer all that when I deal with the FAQ questions, but yes he did graduate, and he is sort of going for a second degree. It's a little complicated.

    Ok is he going for a second degree or not..you cant sort of do any thing, either you do it or you dont!!!! Sorry pet peeve!
    Maybe the complication is that he owes money and they are holding the degree till they pay! So hence them pinching pennies and paying as they go for this skool...

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  24. Oh, heavens, Emily. The whole Mattress Controversy doesn't need its own post. Someone sent you a mattress. You decided not to use it. The person who sent it has been clear that it is yours to do with as you see fit. What's left to say? A long treatise on how I use organic crib mattresses in my reign of terror? How you had to pray to God to determine his will for the mattress? It was $40 bucks. I spend more than that on ballet tickets.

    This proves that she strives to be controversial. A normal, sane person would simply write in the comments "we received the mattress. Unfortunately, it didn't fit our current needs but we are going to list it on Craigslist and use the proceeds to further upgrading our boys' current mattresses with ones they can grow into better." End of story. Trying to whet her reader's appetite about an entire mattress saga is really lame.

    Emily, since I know you read here, just to let you know - I couldn't care less about the mattress stuff. Hope you get $100 bucks for it. Go for it. I'm over it. I will be waking up from a awesome cast-party induced hangover on Sunday morning, am joining my family for a homemade pancake/sausage fest and then will read some Wharton and nap all day long. I shan't be waiting for bated breath about THE MATTRESS and how it didn't fit in with your PLAN. Knock yourself out, fruitloop, I'm done.

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  25. I wonder why she took down the link to Dan's blog. Too many people making comments about her, which are unrelated to the posts he writes, is my guess.

    I also have to, I can kind of see why she is getting rid of the mattress from Gizmola. Maybe if someone else had sent it, she would have kept it, but you all have to admit, Gizmola is not her favorite person.

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  26. I can't get it up for her post today on how she met Dan. Other it being boring and lame, big deal, BUT, she should have given the mattress away if she couldn't use it.

    However, we know that she just doesn't want it because she is just strange. Why not just throw out an old mattress? Was it a crib mattress? If so, throw out her other nasty one. DUH!

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  27. Anonymous 11:40

    I think you're really wrong (unfortunately) about their future being jeopardized by what she's written in her blog about her life. There are many Christians who think what she's doing is admirable, and see nothing wrong with what she's doing. The type of people they'll be ministering to do not care if she makes her kids sleep in filth, feeds them an atrocious diet, etc. It's sad, but true--trust me, I know people like this.

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  28. Emily is setting off warning signals to me that are not right.
    I have the feeling she may be hypothyroid. She talks about her dry hair. She may look heavy but it could be water retention. She seems to have strange ideas that seem to come from nowhere. I wonder if her hair is falling out?
    Or it could be Schizophrenia. My sister is and she was quite like Emily at her age. Emily does not get along or play well with others. She sees conspiracies at every corner. She is more interested in herself than her family.
    Anyway, she's just not right.

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  29. I keep commenting on her blog and posting a FAQ about Giz's mattress. I really want to know what she has to say about it, "officially."

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  30. I'm thinking that she is just saying that she is selling the mattress and will really keep it. She is a hoarder, you can see it plainly in the pictures of her apartment. But it causes more controversy to say that she is selling the mattress, she is a liar and doesn't have to prove that she is selling the mattress, so she is just telling everyone that she is going to do it.

    Anon 11:40, I too, know many in the frugal Christian world and I commend these people for the grace that they show living these life styles. If you are ever looking for a good frugal mom blog try http://www.faithfulhomemaking.blogspot.com/
    and http://moneysavingmom.com/. But Emily is different than these ladies. Most of them are very humble and willing to take advice, Emily is not. Most have God fearing husbands who are very much in control of the house but not to the abusive point. Dna is very off, he has twitter posts that say he doesn't see anything wrong with the word fuck, and then starts to say it over and over again. weird. What type of man who wants to be a pastor is posting things like this online, does he not think that the Deacons and parishioners of a church that he wants to be a pastor at will not have a problem with this, the man that is supposed to be leading a church swearing vehemently and finding nothing wrong with it? people may like her frugal posts and the idea of her posts, but when they read her comments to her readers they will see that she is doing this for a show. She lacks grace and is very arrogant.

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  31. Rachael, it said on Dna's blog that his Twitter account was hacked recently. I think that's were some of the really weird tweets are coming from.

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  32. Lauren H. the tweets from dna's twitter account were from about a year ago, I checked it out when gizmola said something about it a couple of days ago.

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  33. Oh, I see. Okay, that's really weird.

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  34. I've known a lot of pastors and their wives and I can't see Emily ever being close to one. The fact that she snipes and backbites is going to be a huge problem for Dan if he ever graduates and has a flying chance at a pastorate. As said by others, people judge the minister by his wife and if she's as nasty in real life as she is in her blog, God help them.

    I seriously think Emily needs a full workup and meds. Unless she is like that unlikeable chess playing kid in the episode of House a while back who was just nasty all the time. I feel sorry for Dan and her kids.

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  35. To Tara, good question!

    If you go to the Canadian Bible College website, they offer several programs. One is a 4 year degree program, and one is a one year certificate program.

    To Anon 4:08, I think listing the class year means he graduated. I see them listing just the graduation year for other people too.

    But I'm intrigued!

    There is definitely something "off" about Dan needing a second degree.....

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  36. Perhaps the Canadian degree isn't valid in the US? Is the NBBC accredited in Canada and is the degree reciprocal in the US?

    If it isn't then he's probably paid close to 15K for nothing.

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  37. Anon 11:37 again

    I think the Canadian Bible College has a lot of international students; they have a whole paragraph about how to behave at the border crossing: just be "godly" and you shouldn't have any problems!

    If the degree wasn't valid here in America, wouldn't the school say something?

    And a Bible College degree doesn't seem like a law degree/medical degree that might not be valid in a foreign country.

    There is something there, and Emily is not being very forthcoming about why they are putting so much money into a second degree.

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  38. 1. I have little doubt that Dan could find a pastoral job somewhere. Will they actually MAKE it in the ministry, though? I seriously doubt it. The congregation will eat Emily for lunch, blog or no blog. (Most congregations that are the small and rural type that Dan will most likely find a job in are made up of older people who don't really get on the internet all the time). If she doesn't think that church members will pick on her just as badly as her blog readers, she's got another think coming. They don't mind her Quiverfull squalor? Those kinds of religious people will have something to say about Star Trek and the other DVDs she has in her home. They will have something to say about her snippiness, her not so joyful countenance, her hours on the internet, her lack of homestyle cooking. Churches, especially small ones, pick on EVERYTHING you are. What doesn't bother one church member will bother another one. I know from experience!

    2. Can we PLEASE stop diagnosing Emily online? Schizophrenia, narcissism, OCD, hypothryroidism; these are just a few of the things that people have come up with. Most make no sense. Some do, but most don't, and it's getting annoying! :) Let's all agree that, like one commenter said, she needs a workup by a doctor and a psychologist and leave it at that. :) :)

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  39. Anon @ 4:08: It says Em got an Associates, but it just lists a date for Dna. I'm guessing he never graduated.

    Dan definitely graduated, with a BA in '05; the date in parentheses following his name is how most schools denote their graduates.

    I honestly have no idea how he managed to do that, however, given the severity of his learning disabilty. My guess is (and I hope, for his sake) that he can read far better than he writes, so maybe book-learning wasn't such a problem.

    But for him to turn in passable written assignments? Either that college has tremendous support for students with learning disabilities, or else they just let him slide through as long as he kept coming up with tuition.

    I do feel bad for Dan (I refuse to call him 'Dna,' because making fun of his disability is just not cool). He's dependent on his wife's skills to render his writings readable so he can graduate and enter the pastorate--yet at the same time, her profound lack of interpersonal skills will make his career as a pastor difficult. The person he is dependent upon is also his greatest liability.

    Poor people don't take kindly to being disrespected, or having their contributions rebuffed. Unlike Emily, they'd love to better their situation; I don't see that her prattling on about the evils of mattresses and GMOs and ovens is going to go over well with people who have spent their lives making-do and going without. Emily's arrogantly thrown away a standard of living (and the chance at a real college education) that most of Dan's future parisioners can only dream about. And between her thin-skinned snippiness, her arrogant know-it-all attitude, her lack of good grace, her arbitrary dietary rules, and her naive romantic notions about voluntary poverty, she's in for a very rude awakening once she and Dan are off preaching to actual poor people.

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