I had a lazy, long morning in bed and hubs has made me breakfast, so I don't have too much time this morning. Here's the feed link...
http://under1000permonth.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default
Emily made Dna some Star Trek pillows for V-day and Dan is letting Emily clean some of the CD and DVD collection. Remember the DVD and CD's that she says they don't buy? Yeah, she's allowed to clean that.
Oh and they are going out for dinner or lunch with the kids. Yay, food for everyone!
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Let me get the right.... Dna's gift to Emily is to let her clean? That would score him a Valentines day nut sack punt in these parts.
ReplyDeleteI wonder where Dna and the kids are going to watch Emily eat?
What ARE all of those DVDs? None of them look very glorifying to God! Guess it's not just Star Trek they fudge on! I made out Seinfield. And is that West Wing?? I can't really tell, but I know the politics are MUCH more liberal. I don't know a SINGLE conservative person who would appreciate that show. I wonder if maybe they're lying about their political beliefs?
ReplyDeleteI find it interesting: the eating out, playing outside, and the pretend cleaning coming right after the Baby Death Room post. Someone is trying to look like a good mother!
That DVD shelf is not the first thing that needs to get organized!
And how romantic! Gee, wish my husband would have thought to give me the gift of allowing me to clean our house! . . . ON second thought, think I'll take my dinner and massage!
So let me get this straight, she comes up with a really creative idea and puts effort and thought into making him pillows, while he decides to milk Vday for all it's worth and gives her permission to clean HIS collection? WTF?! These people make no sense to me.
ReplyDeleteThey are going to go to Jack in the Box and share a chicken sandwich and fries from the Value Menu. Can you actually imagine them going to a nicer venue??? I feel badly for the other patrons in the restaurant because they will not feel up to eating once they get a wiff of the Pierce clan and their stench.
ReplyDeleteWell, I guess she has to start somewhere. However, there are plenty of other areas in that apartment that need cleaning and organizing before those shelves.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely brilliant stuff by gizmola on free jinger. It starts on page 45 (yes, you read that right) of the emily thread:
ReplyDeletehttp://freejinger.yuku.com/topic/1099/t/Emily-Part-3-Young-Broke-QF-Snippy-Internet-Lawyered-Up.html?page=45
gizmola chronicles email exchages btwn emily and dan that ultimately end up with their divorce and her living in a dumpster behind the dollar store while he lives with the kids at her mom's house.
Don't miss it, and please comment back here.!!!
Gizmola is awesome and so talented! Loved the story and the ending.
ReplyDeleteI sure would like to know where the hell it is that they go out to eat, considering all Emily did was bitch about the food at RMH. Is there a restaurant in Maine that lacto-ferments everything?
ReplyDeleteFreeDnaandBooby- I happen to be a conservative (admittedly more moderate than not) who loved West Wing. Have the entire series on dvd. It was my guilty liberal pleasure.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I can't imagine people as "fundamental" as Emily and Dna enjoying it.
If my husband were to "allow" me to clean as a gift, then I would allow him to find a new wife.
Dan should have bought her something... like a mop or new spatula. duh.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine Emily letting dna touch the crackpot. that is the family's lifeline.
ReplyDeleteNow my question is will the family starve to dead if the crackpot dies? it seems to be the only tool Emily can cook with.
I betcha $20 Dna would have no issues celebrating 3/14, Steak and a BJ Day. But I'm sure EK is shafted out of Mother's Day and her bday every year. How can she be so stupid?
ReplyDeleteOkay, with this last post I'm really starting to think that Emily can't be for real. Or she was to start out with but now she's just playing to the crowd for clicks. Her V Day gift is permission to clean/organize her husband's media collection? I just can't buy it. That's ludicrous. And the Star Trek pillow was hilarious, IMO. Has to be a joke (right?). Thinking about it more, I've never seen anyone post anywhere claiming to know her in real life and that seems odd since she's quite the phenom these days and you'd think her friends would be coming out of the woodwork to defend her.
ReplyDeleteI don't know, maybe I'm reaching, but it's just not adding up to me...
For your information we go to Burger King for Valentine's Day. First of all, it honors God and Jesus as our KINGS. Secondly, the Whoppers come with tomato, cheese, lettace, and onion. I ask them to make Dna's without the ketchup, mayo and mustard.
ReplyDeleteFirst I bring my battery powered travel blender and put the veggies (yes we eat veggies!) in the blender with a cup of whey I bring from home in one of Bobby's sippy cups. I blend the veggies and let it sit for ten minutes to lacto-ferment. It's not as long as I like to do it at home (5 days) but at least Dan is getting a lacto-fermented condiment and since Valentine's Day is about what I want Dna to eat, I'm happy.
Then I bring out my jar of homemade ketchup (made with real ingredients) and put in on his Whopper. I take a child size cup (free!) and fill one each for Bobby and Daniel. They split one plain hamburger and dip it in their ketchup.
I eat a Junior Whopper (following the same steps as Dna's) without the bun. I just pour my salsa and the ketchup on it and eat it with a fork.
We don't eat the french fries because we don't like fried foods. (No, Dna, we don't. Now be grateful that I work so hard at mystery shopping to give you this extra luxury and quit complaining that you work hard cleaning up vomit and dealing with paper towel crises at Wal-Mart and then study at school. Crybaby.)
We all drink water. Dna is very grateful because he's allowed ice. Aren't I a wonderful, submissive wife? He doesn't get ice at home because with my 200 pounds of tube meat in the freezer ($0.80 a pound because it was two weeks past its expiration date - which is FINE because I lacto-ferment it with floor cheese whey and kefir grounds first!) I don't have room for ice cube trays.
I drive us home as a treat so Dna can rest for those two blocks and because lately he keeps complaining about feeling lightheaded. He claims it's because his blood sugar is low and he's hungry but we've never gone to a doctor to check that out - we're going to wait and see - and I think that all he needs is a tablespoon of crockpot cream cheese and a kefir liimeade.
Aren't I wonderful to share this heartwarming Valentine's Day story with you? I have to go since Dna is attempting to order Hooked on Phonics again and I can't have that. The more educated he gets the less control I have. Now it's time to write his blog, write my blog, moderate comments, write his Twitter post and hide the phone so he can't call CPS like he's been threatening.
Love, Emily
Thanks to under1000 for creating and maintaining this site! I hope you have a wonderful valentine's day! You deserve it!
ReplyDeleteI am a little worried about the feed link though...from what I understand it is possible to gank stats from feed views. More so when it's through her site. Of course, it doesn't count for page click revenue, but Emily could be using her feed numbers to advertise her blog and pony up numbers for potential advertisers.
Just thought I would mention that and ask for anyone who knows about these things to comment. I know that google analytics can capture and store this information at least...
We knew Dan liked West Wing. He quoted a character as part of one of the sermons on his blog.
ReplyDeleteWhere are they going for V-day? Please tell me they are bringing the kids so they can get some real food or even better leaving them with a family member who has a clean safe home with food.
ReplyDeleteI don't blame Dan at all for giving her a voucher to clean his DVDs. Emily herself has mentioned repeatedly Dan's aversion to exchanging homemade gifts. The man works full time, goes to school, and deals with Emily's lunacy --all on a steady diet of Terese limeade and crock pot ketchup. No wonder he doesn't want to make Emily a homemade Valemtine's gift. IMO, it's actually sort of a stroke of brilliance: if she wants to insist on lame homemade presents, a homemade present she will get. Also, it subtly references Dan's greatest gift of all, subsidizing her insanity.
ReplyDeleteDna's gift to Emily on Valemtines day will be: Tube steak smothered in underwear
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't take care of his teeth so it makes you wonder if he washes his 'tube meat' and if Emily likes it that way
ReplyDeleteHmm, maybe I should have waited until Valentine's Day to clean the toilets for my husband, and then launder the hash marks out of his undies. Of course, I was a very disobedient wife by cleaning the toilets without his permission, but I'm sure he'll forgive me when he sees how nice and clean his underwear is because I bleached them and actually washed them in a real washer.
ReplyDeleteMy Hubs promised to brush his teeth, and use a piece of new floss just for me! Isn't he just the bestest?
(I'm kidding of course)
Marcie said...
ReplyDeleteWe are having a large brunch at home and then eating out around 3pm so we can avoid the crowds. My sister says it is a sign that we are turning into old people LOL, but I just hate waiting in crowds with small children. Like the pillow. Do you have a sewing machine or did you do it by hand?
February 13, 2010 7:19 AM
marie said...
Lunch is usually a lot less busy; but I would be careful, since its also a Sunday, that showing up at noon might mean you are still on the breakfast or brunch menu at my places. As soon as it hits 2pm you would probably be fine and in a fairly quiet time of the day.
February 13, 2010 7:22 AM
Marge said...
Ooh, cute pillow! I love sewing, that's a great gift.
And your husband is letting you clean. As a present to you! Good for him, what an awesome present. I only wish my husband were so kind!
February 13, 2010 7:44 AM
Emily said...
Marcie, I have a sewing machine, but I sewed the pillow by hand. I haven't quite got the knack of the sewing machine, but I'm trying.
Marge, it's funny, yesterday everyone was telling me I was a bad wife, now people are saying my husband is a bad husband. It's funny, because we rather enjoy our marriage and how we do things, but I guess our ways are not for everyone.
Christena said...
ReplyDeleteIf you're using the vegetarian analogy...she's still cooking for him as a gift for herself. if it was really a gift he would cook a vegetarian meal FOR her as a gift to her. he's still saying, "as a gift to you, you can cook for me." which is no gift at all.
February 13, 2010 2:04 PM
Emily said...
Christena, I don't think an analogy fits outside of an organizing one. My husband has this area where his stuff lives. He's pretty picky about it, but I'm not too fond of the set-up. He's basically letting me have his stuff my way. I honestly thought people were going to be mad because I am a control freak on this one, that they were going to say I should just leave his stuff alone.
February 13, 2010 2:11 PM
Okay, thank you, ironbunny!
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't read Dan's jibberish, so I wouldn't know if he quoted WW or not. But having been raised fundie, their movies are NOT fundie at all!
I posted on her latest comment about their addiction to stuff. I don't know if she'll let it pass or not, but I really hope she'll take it to heart. It makes me so sad thinking about her sweet boys living in those conditions. I really hope that she gets the help she needs.
ReplyDeleteI would think that if CPS came into that situation they would really try to help her learn decluttering skills. Don't they usually offer classes to parents on how to better manage their households?
I just keep wondering where her mother or sisters our cousins or SOMEONE is in all of this. My family would never stand by and allow me to neglect my children. Maybe she just won't listen...
My son is watching Bob the Builder. One of the characters is builing a yurt. DH doesn't understand why I am laughing so hard
ReplyDeletewait - 3/14 is steak and a bj day? happy birthday to me! (wait, i'm a girl... well, i can enjoy the steak, then.) haha
ReplyDelete