Here are some excerpts from our favorite fundies from their Facebook pages:
Michelle Duggar has an empty womb. It’s handy for spare change but what am I going to do with myself now?
Emily P. is going to train Dna to poop at work. Will keep bathroom locked at all times.
Anna Botkin is excited that her quest to take over the world is coming along smoothly.
Rebekah Anast is going to smash in her husband’s face if he doesn’t get a real job. She’s fucking sick of washing clothes on a rock.
Debi Pearl beat up a five year old at Wal-Mart. Good times.
Lady Lydia is having a scotch and wearing stretchy pants.
MckMamma is counting her money. She hasn’t seen her children in three weeks.
Dna P. is sick of Emiy. Might run away. Will take Brad.
JimBob Duggar is out of Aquanet! Crisis!
Jana Duggar is dreaming about the Bates boy.
Jinger Duggar is secretly reading Free Jinger. Rock on, my peeps!
Hannie Duggar is planning an escape route.
Anna Duggar wants to punch Smuggar in the face.
Smuggar is preening in the mirror. God, I’m awesome.
Mrs. Pittsburgh Pair is counting out toilet tissue squares.
Mr. Pittsburgh Pair is eager for work; needs to poop.
Captain Brett is polishing his fake medals and guarding his daughter’s purity.
Bill Gothard is touching himself and dreaming of Geoffrey Botkin.
Mrs. Bates is sick of being pregnant but is determined to win at the babymaking contest with Michelle Duggar. Suck on that, J’chelle!
The Maxwell Family is not having any fun at all.
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Dont Forget Chris Jeubs:
ReplyDeleteI have constructed the perfect child robot, now I just need to sell and make money!
Pittsburgh Pair isn't a fundie AT ALL. She frequents a board on The Nest. She's actually quite normal, aside from her TP rolling. That's about the only of the wall thing I've ever seen her post about. If you look at her blog, she and her husband are far from "fundies." She's actually pretty cool. :) I think we all do some off the wall things every now and then, right? It just seems kind of odd to throw them on there.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget Tim Haggard:
ReplyDelete... is sick of being in the closet, but afraid harpy wife will take all the money.
Oh, I hadn't read much of the Pittsburgh Pair - someone else suggested their blog. I just read enough to be grossed out by the toilet paper / poop schedule. Other than that, they really seemed alright. I just thought the bathroom things were funny.
ReplyDeleteRebekah Anast -- LOL, but not for her. Her husband is a piece of work. Last I read he quit his job to study the bible, their electricity had been shut off, and they were cooking outside over a campfire. Good to know that at least they're "getting" water from somewhere though: http://www.zunibasin.com/documents/2142.pdf
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! Lady Lydia and stretchy pants; I see it =D
ReplyDeleteCould you post links to such sites? I have never heard of some of these people.
ReplyDeleteThanks
Giz, Bravo....!!
ReplyDeleteYou even included MckMama, you are making her so special!
QueenFrigid
Mrs. Maxwell- Designing a plan to not be submissive and prune her eye brows
ReplyDeleteYAY for including MckMama! Don't forget MckDaddy tho...
ReplyDeleteWhat about the Life In A Shoe? Don't know her name-so maybe she's there already. Reading back in her blog...for such a good Christian person, she's really quite judgemental and even has the nerve to be arrogant while she's doing it.
I just read the Pittsburgh Pair. Okay, maybe we're weird too. DH prefers to poop at work as well. Whatever. I like their idea on the huge rolls of tp. However, I would just hang the giant roll. Why waste my time rerolling when I can be reading Giz?
ReplyDeleteOh how about that crazy Anderson guy? The one arrested in AZ because he didn't want to stop for the border patrol?
ReplyDeleteThese are funny but you might want to reword the Debi Pearl beating one....not sarcastic enough and sounds just "factual" enough to be libelous. or whichever legal term is correct-brain drain tongiht. probably an over reaction but some of these folks like to sue!
ReplyDeleteOMG, I made this blog. I've been reading occasionally and someone just alerted me that I was mentioned here :) I'm flattered.
ReplyDeleteNot a fundie here, but my DH can have some crazy money saving ideas. I never expected the reaction I would get from that post. Even Emily Under 1k came and commented.
I'm normal though, just SUPER cheap.
7:01 PM re: The Andersons.
ReplyDeleteThey put the cra in crazy:
http://stevenandersonfamily.blogspot.com/2008/09/another-fag-using-ivf-to-have-baby_24.html
Her words:
My kids had the following conversation at the store yesterday, very loudly, and within ear shot of several other customers:
John (4 years old): Barack Obama, and the devil, and the government are worser than anything else in the world.
Isaac (5 years old): Mom, John actually told me that he thinks Barack Obama is worse than the faggots.
Ah, precious moments!
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. – Proverbs 22:6
By the way, don’t bother writing me angry comments about teaching my children to hate homosexuals.
Hey Pittsburgh Pair,
ReplyDeleteWelcome! SUPER cheap is great and I also am a practioner of super cheap, however, letting kids sleep under cribs on piss stained mattresses with no sheets or feeding your family sludge is not super cheap, as I'm sure you know, it's insane.
I am LMAO over this...
ReplyDeleteAnd I like the Pittsburgh Pair...even if they are Steelers fans. I'm from Ohio...we don't like the Steelers much round these parts ;)
The JimBob comment about made me piss myself.
Pittsburgh Pair - a million thanks for taking it as a joke and not being offended. Since it was pointed out to me that you guys are not one of the crazy fundies and I've read your blog and they're right - you might be super frugal but you're also pretty cool. If you want me to delete you from this list I'll be happy to do so.
ReplyDeleteAnon 9:15, just read the chicks blog, and OMG it is beyond crazy to me. She has some freaky beliefs and is not afraid to voice them.
ReplyDeleteGiz, don't delete me! I'm honestly flattered. :)
ReplyDeleteWelcome, Pittsburgh Pair! It's so wonderful to have a sense of humor about yourself - yay you!
ReplyDeleteI just read the Anderson woman's blog. Birth is a topic I am passionate about, particularly homebirth, so I very much appreciate her perspective on that. Otherwise... it is one of the most offensive blogs I've ever read - she outdoes our beloved Emily by a mile. Under the guise of being a devout Christian, she spews an incredible amount of hatred, i.e., gays and male ob/gyns are perverts, etc. I am nauseated by her. It's been a long time since I reached for my bottle of brain bleach and I'm not sure that I have enough on hand to do the trick this time.
HUGE FAIL!
On a more positive note, I LOVED your FB entry for Jinger - Shout out to my peeps. Nice!
ReplyDeleteI have asked my DH to F@ck me day and night on compensation for saving his money using family cloth !
ReplyDeleteI am learning so many new things from this blog. Family cloth? It's funny. I've traveled all over the place and seen plenty of different cultures, but to hear about that in the United States just astounds me.
ReplyDelete