Family Dinner for Valentine's Day: Show ME the Love By Gizmola

For your information we go to Burger King for Valentine's Day. First of all, it honors God and Jesus as our KINGS. Secondly, the Whoppers come with tomato, cheese, lettace, and onion. I ask them to make Dna's without the ketchup, mayo and mustard.

First I bring my battery powered travel blender and put the veggies (yes we eat veggies!) in the blender with a cup of whey I bring from home in one of Bobby's sippy cups. I blend the veggies and let it sit for ten minutes to lacto-ferment. It's not as long as I like to do it at home (5 days) but at least Dan is getting a lacto-fermented condiment and since Valentine's Day is about what I want Dna to eat, I'm happy.

Then I bring out my jar of homemade ketchup (made with real ingredients) and put in on his Whopper. I take a child size cup (free!) and fill one each for Bobby and Daniel. They split one plain hamburger and dip it in their ketchup.

I eat a Junior Whopper (following the same steps as Dna's) without the bun. I just pour my salsa and the ketchup on it and eat it with a fork.

We don't eat the french fries because we don't like fried foods. (No, Dna, we don't. Now be grateful that I work so hard at mystery shopping to give you this extra luxury and quit complaining that you work hard cleaning up vomit and dealing with paper towel crises at Wal-Mart and then study at school. Crybaby.)

We all drink water. Dna is very grateful because he's allowed ice. Aren't I a wonderful, submissive wife? He doesn't get ice at home because with my 200 pounds of tube meat in the freezer ($0.80 a pound because it was two weeks past its expiration date - which is FINE because I lacto-ferment it with floor cheese whey and kefir grounds first!) I don't have room for ice cube trays.

I drive us home as a treat so Dna can rest for those two blocks and because lately he keeps complaining about feeling lightheaded. He claims it's because his blood sugar is low and he's hungry but we've never gone to a doctor to check that out - we're going to wait and see - and I think that all he needs is a tablespoon of crockpot cream cheese and a kefir liimeade.

Aren't I wonderful to share this heartwarming Valentine's Day story with you? I have to go since Dna is attempting to order Hooked on Phonics again and I can't have that. The more educated he gets the less control I have. Now it's time to write his blog, write my blog, moderate comments, write his Twitter post and hide the phone so he can't call CPS like he's been threatening.