Unfortunately that wasn't the question that the readers really wanted to know. They wanted to know what Dan thinks about their living conditions, ie: the filth, household hazards, the fermented foods, the lack of food, and the general despair that emenates from those pictures. Anyway, here goes... **********NOTE******* I heavily edited Emily's drivel out of here because she is a whiner and complained to Blogger.
Does your husband support all of your penny pinching endeavors?
Iit doesn't really matter what his take is on it, he will do whatever I say, that's the reason I married this dim bulb]. His frugality could be summed up in no debt and don't spend money. I like that and add in penny pinching[Please add in, living in squalor, danger, child neglect to the point of a coma, and lack of food. Dan really likes food, so we disagree here, but he's getting too weak to put up much of a fight]
I shopped around for auto insurance and got the least expensive apartment we could fit into[I tried to rent one of those U Store Its, but the owner noticed Little Dna and Booby peaking out of their rubbermaid shipping container in the back of the car]. .[The U Store it would have saved us more. I'm still mad at Big Dna for forgetting to cut the air holes in the rubbermaid, thus forcing Little Dna and Booby to lift the lid for air]
Active frugality is what we do now, today [notice my clever use of italics? I sometimes like to randomly bold things too] to pinch our pennies. [I'm so clever, no one ever thought of this before, just like no one ever thought to put reading/writing materials in a magazine rack before]
There are some things we must spend on, food, gas, and clothes[And I do my best to make sure that I spend as little as possible on food, keeps the others weak and keeps me in control. I like to do mystery shops on my own and I cram myself full of food when I do. I tell Dna that all I bought on the shop was gum, and he runs from me. Gum scares Dna] Dan loves my cooking.[I think I have starved him into submission finally! Actually, he's just so dang hungry I think he would like anyone's cooking at this point. It's better than that clown house food that made us bung up!] [He actually is just starving and would eat anything], I do feed him snack food by request. I count on him forgetting to ask for them and he does.[Frugality tip here ladies, pick a dim one, they often forget they are hungry, saves lots of money. We sometimes forget to hydrate the boys too, we give the water to Therese instead]
Not spending money on stuff like new shoes or DVDs is pretty easy for both of us[It's really easy to not spend it on the kids]. .[Note to self, don't slip up and write about buying DVD's again]
Future frugality is in many ways up in the air. We talk of pursuing a pastorate the most, but really we don't know exactly what it is God has for us[One of my Christian commenters told me I need to be open to what God wants, so here I am making it sound like I came to this idea all on my own]. We have both at times felt we might be called to the mission field[I read about this over at Braincells and thought I better through this in there], yet God continues to direct our step toward a pastorate in Maine. Whatever we may do, financial discipline now is great training.
He wants something a little more traditional than a yurt or tipi[or a converted two storey semi trailer, or shipping container, or heated dog house], but is still open-minded. He's all for a small home as long as it doesn't mean we have to get rid of all of his stuff[because Dna would rather have his stuff like Brad the stuffed wonder Ecoli dog than to have a safe, clean home for our boys]. [Except all the notebooks, homeschool supplies, scribbles for Dna's classes that I convert to essays, and Dna's blog scratchings, we use very little paper.]. [Note to Emily, having filth on your floor that you grow stuff in does not make you a farmer, it makes you a slovenly pig]. He lets me handle most of the financial decisions, but he holds the red veto pen[or in Dna's case, the red veto crayon, sometimes he likes the purple crayon too].
You know, I don't totally disagree with her about snack foods. I don't buy them often. I do keep lots of nuts, fruit, and yogurt around though for when anyone wants a snack. I also make cookies or other treats once or twice a week. Fresh popped popcorn is our chips and crackers alternative. Cheap and wonderful with some melted butter tossed into it. I don't think you can cook it in a crockpot though; I use an airpopper, but a pot on the stove also works.
ReplyDeleteEmily needs to learn that there's a line between frugality and meanness. I think she's on the wrong side of the line.
I forgot to add, here's a hint Emily:
ReplyDeleteBuying crib sheets from a second hand store or accepting hand me downs from friends = frugal.
Not using crib sheets and just wiping down the plastic mattress = mean.
Just one simple example to get you thinking.
Is she making up these terms like "future frugality"? Maybe I'm crazy, but I've never heard of them.
ReplyDelete"but the owner noticed Little Dna and Booby peaking out of their rubbermaid shipping container in the back of the car"
ReplyDeleteToo funny, but it's almost not because you could just see her doing it.
"Note to Emily, having filth on your floor that you grow stuff in does not make you a farmer"
Also funny. Keep up the GREAT work. I come here at least a dozen times a day to see if there's anything new up and to read the comments.
Yeah, didn't she forget she just wrote about expanding their Star Trek collection?
ReplyDeleteAnd hehe, love your comments!
The saddest part to me is about the snacks. For adults, snacks are important (3 big squares a day is not good for blood sugar, and can lead to obesity and/or diabetes). But for little ones, snacks are 100% necessary. A child with a tiny tummy simply cannot (in a healthy way, that is) go 4-5+ hours in between meals.
ReplyDeletepsst, Em, veggies make a good snack too.
:(
Once again saddened by this chick.
Funny stuff! Please keep it up!
ReplyDeleteActually, I think Dan is more like the Village Idiot. Emily is Head Bitch in Charge.
ReplyDeleteDan forgets when he is hungry? I bet she just tells him it's pain from being hit by the car.
Oh my friggin' YAWN. Ugh. Thank heavens for under1000braincells spicing up that entry...I'd have fallen asleep otherwise...
ReplyDeleteIf Emily was to coupon she could get Dan some snacks. Who doesn't allow fucking snacks! If she isn't going to buy snacks she can make them but she is too busy pulling puppet strings to care about what others want.
ReplyDeleteThis is some of the funniest stuff I have ever read!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the poster about snacks being necessary for kids...I have a very active kid who burns calories like crazy and I feel like I'm always chasing her with cheese, yogurt, nuts, fruit and veggies just to give her a little extra to burn. I feed her actual meals four times a day and she always has milk, water or juice available...and she's *still* in the 7th percentile for weight.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine being so cheap and shitty that I would begrudge my baby good, HEALTHY food to fuel her little body. It makes me angry and sick to think of bitchface Emily's little boys being hungry, wet and cold. What the hell kind of parent is she?! I'm not a violent person, but if Emily were in front of me right now, I would kick her ass.
Holy crap!!! I'm freakin' dying with laughter over here! Keep it coming!
ReplyDeleteRemember dna loves her cooking. well of course a staving person will love anything you put in front of him.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I wouldn't describe myself as a "submit to your husband even when you disagree" kind of girl like Emily does, but when my husband asks for snack foods, I make or buy snack foods. To wait and hope he forgets is to treat him like a toddler.
ReplyDeleteGee, wouldn't it be nice to actually read *what Dan thinks* instead of *what Emily ~says~ Dan thinks*?
God, she's a snippy little thing. She just doesn't get it! She annoyed that people are pointing out that Dan does work full-time and go to school and provides money for her kefir projects and crockpot fetish and would it kill her to take $3 of her blog money to buy the poor guy some potato chips. Plus, it's kind of mean to hope that your spouse just forgets they want food so you don't have to be bothered to make it for him.
ReplyDeleteI'm starting to think that not only do we need to rescue the boys but Dan needs to be rescued, too. She's twisted.
Come on Emily, spend some of that blog money we earned you and get Dna a bag of Aldi brand chips! For petes sake they are only .99! Give him the last chance to feel the crunch of the chips before all his teeth fall out!
ReplyDeleteDan likes to snack on food she considers junk food. So she just doesn't bother buying or making it for him and hopes he doesn't think to ask? She knows he would like it and she never thinks to whip up a batch of cookies or buy a bag of chips at the store a couple of times a month? What a bitch.
ReplyDeleteI don't eat meat. Dh and 2 kids do. I buy some when I see a good sale even though he doesn't often ask for it. I buy it because I know he likes it and I want to do nice things for him and the kids.
Dh is the only one in the house that drinks orange and grapefruit juices. They're still part of my weekly shopping without him having to ask every week.
He often brings me a hot water bottle for my feet at night because they get cold. I don't always have to ask for him to decided to do something nice for me.
Does Dan only get supper if he asks for it too?
Isn't that just part of marriage (and lots of other relationships too really)? Doing things for other people that you know they'd like even if they haven't asked?
Does Dna not even get a buck to buy beef jerky on his breaks at walmart? I can't imagine a grown man having to subsist on 2 eggs, an ounce of cheese, a half ounce of dollar store sausage, three tortillas, 3 ounces of tube meat, a half a lettuce leaf and some foamy pink salsa while trying to attend college full time and work five hours a day doing physical labor. Oh, yeah, and 8 ounces of yummy whey limeade.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised he even has the energy to get out of bed on what she feeds him. And, I feel sorry for Dna at the thought of him eating his sad little leftovers in the WM break room while his coworkers are living it up on subway, mcdonalds and deli chicken. Hopefully one of them shares a french fry or two every now and then.
Dan forgets to eat? Emily needs to get her stories straight because she also said that he lives for the next meal and plans his whole day around when he can eat again.
ReplyDeleteThat is the sign of a starving person. Not a person who has plenty to eat.
Sorry. I guess he "forgets" to ask for snacks. My guess is he's afraid to ask for snacks after the tongue lashing he probably gets from his "submissive" wife when he wants something to eat.
ReplyDeleteEmily use your gift card to buy some sheets and blankets for your children. Quit being so selfish.
ReplyDeleteHere are some ideas for snacks-popcorn less than .10 per batch without butter, dried fruit, nuts, you could make baked potatoe chips, how stuipd of me she does not use the oven, so a batch of homemade cookies are out. If you real loved and cared about Dan as a partner you would every now and then buy him a treat, surprise him with a bag of chips. That is what married couples do.
A bunch of students at UCDavis are building a house out of shipping containers. Once they get a little further along I will go take pictures and post them. The are using 6 containers.
OMG! She just does NOT get the whole "do something nice for your spouse even if it's not something you like/enjoy just because you love them and it means more to them when they don't have to beg you for it" thing. (hope that made sense)
ReplyDeleteShe even has the audacity to note - very snippily - that Dna gets to eat out once a week because SHE does the work (I guess mystery shopping) for him to have this luxury. She also makes him a milkshake a night (which is ice, milk and stevia - not the same thing, fruitloop!) and - sometimes - cookies.
OMG. I knew we joked about it but I really do think she's actually, truly starving her family.
So what if poor Dna wants a bag of Cheetos or some moon pies - spend some blog money and give him something more than tube meat and lacto-fermented, soaked-grain gloodles.
She's a first class, self-absorbed, completely insane fruitloopy bitch.
I hope to the sweet baby Jesus that when CPS comes they are nice enough to take Dna with them and find him a sweet wife who will be eager to help him work on his communication skills and actually feed him.
This is not a post about what Dan thinks about her frugality. It's a post about what Emily SAYS Dan thinks about her frugality. We have yet to really hear from Dan on the matter.
ReplyDeleteNotice how all roads lead back to Emily on that post? SHE thinks fruit is the best snack ever, so it's always available (although we've seen no evidence other than half eaten apples). SHE considers it a waste of money to have chips, so he doesn't get any.
I would never in a million years tell my husband he couldn't have something from the grocery store! He's not one of my kids, so I don't treat him like he is!
contressrascal-
ReplyDeleteyou included dried fruit on your list of possible snack foods. Emily won't dry fruit. She got rid of the dehydrater and using the crockpot a few months back turned her 12 cent banana into an 18 cent banana so she concluded that using the crockpot to dry fruit was not something she would do on a regular basis...even though she admitted in that entry that the kids LOVED the banana and were so upset she only made one. She is MEAN!!!
I think I'll fed ex the poor man and the kids a box of snacks! chewy chocolate chip cookies,popcorn, nuts, candy!
ReplyDeleteI agree that Emily is a nutjob who is powertripping on starving and controlling her husband and children.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm not going to be okay with the idea of making fun of these abused and neglected children. Please don't do the "Booby" thing again. That was ugly.
Big DNA (aka, Dan the preacher man) was the first to use "Booby" - not the author of this blog.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe she would say no to her kids for a healthy snack for SIX CENTS. My god, you can find that on the f*cking street if it means that much to you!
ReplyDeleteAs the above anon stated, Dan wa the forst one to use the term Booby. He was also the one to call little Dan, Dna.
ReplyDeleteI think Big Dan has a sense of humor.
The way she says Dan forgets to ask for snacks makes me think he is deep in ketosis (fat burning mode, desirable if you're trying to lose weight on a low carb diet but NOT a way to live permanently.) Ketosis has an appetite blunting effect and even starving people sometimes won't feel hunger very much because of it.
ReplyDeleteAnon 5:48, good point. It also makes me wonder about her stevia and natural remedies. Hoodia has actually been known to suppress appetite to the point of starvation.
ReplyDelete