This is reposted from the comments so it doesn't get lost.
I admit it :) I'm just messin' with her, I'll probably remove her posts in a few days, but I'll probably still post them on FreeJ, and then add a link from here to there and vice versa ;)
I'll use this site as a parody site, so if anyone has any funny, original works spoofing Emily and/or Dan, send them through and I will recopy them as a post and give credit to the author, if the author desires credit. Of course everyone is free to remail anonymous as well.
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How is it that no body has come up with anything? Dan and I have come up with a bunch of hilarious parody themes, including pitching a tent in the Walmart parking lot to save rent money over the summer, saving money on soap nuts by not allowing the family to wear clothes, strategically moving to a flood zone around flood season and saying we're refugees, vaccines containing Satanic mind control, and is human sacrifice biblical. How utterly lacking in creativity you and your readers must be!
ReplyDeleteNo Em, we aren't lacking in creativity, it's just that the reality you present is so much more outrageous than any parody theme you have come up with.
ReplyDeletePlease provide your lawyer's contact information Emily.
ReplyDeleteNothing anyone could come up with comes close to competing with the utter clown show that is their lives.
ReplyDeleteI agree. At one time this whole thing was parady worthy but the more we read, the more it is obvious that there really is nothing funny about the situation those poor children are in.
ReplyDeleteI thought CPS would have gotten involved after she starved her kid into a coma.
I haven't "come up with anything" because I don't have to waste my time with parodies of you. You and your family are freakish enough on your own. You know that saying about truth being stranger than fiction? It's true. It's also true that in your case, Emily, you are more entertaining than any fiction I could come up with.
ReplyDeleteMy brain isn't fucked enough to come up with "funny" stuff like you and Dan.
For that matter, the funny stuff you've commented on sounds like stuff you would really actually do.
Please stop with the smug, Emily. It makes you sound like an idiot. Seriously. You think you're snarking with the big kids, but you're not. You're just not.
I don't wanna send in a parody...what if the FBI comes after me?! The FBI is very, very serious business and they take blogging very, very seriously.
ReplyDeleteLike on TV and in the movies, the FBI are always solving crimes, catching killers, foiling terrorist plots...but anyone with a nose for the law knows that really, the FBI's biggest concern is the world of blogging. Not child molesters - blogs. Not murderers - blogs.
So I am way, way, way too scared to post anything here that the FBI is gonna nail me for. I mean, there are extradition laws on record between the US and the country in which I reside. You think I'm going to bait the FBI? That's crazy talk!
Obviously I am aware that Emily herself has a sharp legal mind (just like Charlie on It's Always Sunny, really) and it scares me. Who knows what Emily is capable of doing to me! She could have me arrested! She could have my library card revoked! She could have me evicted from my home! That's how much power Emily has. It's true 'cause I read it on the internet! Emily sounds like she knows a lot and it scares me real bad.
I'm so scared I kind of wish there were a way to submit to Emily. Gosh, I so wish Emily was a part of a religious movement that allowed for multiple wives. She could submit to Dan, I could submit to Dan AND Emily...it'd be wicked awesome, now that I think of it.
I would love to submit to Dan and have smart, clever and feisty Emily as my sister wife...
Emily, if you're reading, please consider not ratting me out to the FBI and instead invite me to live with you and Dan. I'm committed to a diet of boiled leather, I don't mind squalor and I want to get to know Jesus Christ and Dan more intimately. I'll also help babysit your babies so they don't go teething on a saw or slipping into a coma. It would work for all of us! I even have some saucy house dresses we could share! Think about it...
ROFL!! Beautiful, brought a tear to my eye.
ReplyDeleteEmily, I think you need to go to Google and look up the words "hilarious" and "parody".
ReplyDeleteThose "themes" you came up with are not funny at all.
Emily your life is a parody with no need for added embellishments.
ReplyDeletebtw you and preacher Dan are not funny